Start here
The New Bottoming Book
Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy. Warm, practical and empowering for anyone on the receiving end.
Home / Directory
Directory
The places we trust
A short, curated list of organisations, books and shops we'd point a friend to. Nobody paid to be here. Links that earn us a commission are marked.
Community and advocacy
Advocacy
National Coalition for Sexual Freedom
US advocacy for the rights of consenting adults in the kink and alternative sexuality communities, including help for people facing discrimination.
History
Leather Archives & Museum
A Chicago museum and archive preserving the history of leather, kink and fetish communities. Worth a visit, and their exhibits online.
Community
FetLife
The largest social network for the kink community, and the usual way to find local groups, classes and munches (casual social meet-ups, no play).
Kink-aware professionals
A therapist or doctor who understands kink won't treat your interests as the problem. The Kink and Poly Aware Professionals directory lists therapists, doctors, lawyers and other professionals who've committed to working without judgement.
A tip
When you contact a new professional, it's fine to ask directly: "Are you comfortable working with clients who practise BDSM?" A good one will answer simply and kindly.
Books on our shelf
The classics most experienced players recommend. Read them together.
Start here
The New Topping Book
Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy. The companion for whoever leads: responsibility, skill and care.
Safety
SM 101
Jay Wiseman. A long-standing, thorough guide to safe practice, with a strong focus on risk.
Communication
Playing Well with Others
Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams. How to find community, negotiate and stay safe beyond the bedroom.
If something isn't right
Kink is consensual. Abuse is not. If you've been hurt, pressured or ignored when you said stop, you deserve support, and these services are confidential and free. In an emergency, call 911.
Shops we trust
Our full reviews live in the Dungeon and the Vault. These are the shops behind them. Some of these links may earn us a commission.
Furniture
Liberator
Shaped cushions, wedges and discreet bondage furniture that looks like ordinary decor.
Toys
Lovehoney
A huge range of body-safe toys and restraints, with good starter kits.
Rope
Twisted Monk
Well-made rope in natural and synthetic fibres, plus rope education.
Machines
Sybian and Motorbunny
The two names behind most saddle machines. Compared in detail in the Vault.
Know somewhere that belongs here?
We add organisations, educators and makers who put consent and safety first. Tell us about them.